Tolerating Failure

Failing at some things and needing to bounce back is an inevitable lesson we all learn at some point in our lives.

Failure is a part of life. 

When children don’t succeed, it’s important to help them tolerate it and encourage them not to give up. This will make them stronger and more resilient when they are forced to face life’s challenges. 

When children feel that failure is end-all-be-all, or that things going wrong is simply not an option, they are more at risk for meltdowns caused by anxiety and pressure to succeed. 

Not learning how to tolerate anxiety leaves kids more susceptible to anxiety disorders.

How can parents teach kids to fail well?

Here are some tips to encourage your kids to tolerate failure.

• Be empathetic.

  • Your child is allowed to be upset about failing; validate their feelings.

  • Try not to brush off their concerns in an attempt to console them.

  • Even if the failure seems small, it might be big to them.

  • Instead of saying, “it’s no big deal,” say, “I understand that you wanted to do better, and I can see that you are disappointed.”

• Model problem-solving.

  • Learning how to problem solve is one of the biggest lessons from failure.

  • Encourage kids to use failure as a learning experience and have a conversation about it.

  • What can your child do differently next time?

  • What would the best next steps look like so that they can feel better right now?

• Encourage acceptance.

  • It’s normal for things to go wrong sometimes.

  • Model healthy coping skills when they are feeling frustrated, upset, angry, etc–and talk about what they are feeling.

  • Tell your child about a time you failed, what you learned, and how you moved on.

  • Make sure they know that you are not disappointed so that you don’t add pressure.

Although accepting and moving on from failure is a lesson that even adults struggle with, it’s such an important lesson for kids to learn it young. When children fail and think that it’s the worst thing, they put immense pressure on themselves and are more at risk for anxiety and other mental health struggles. If your child learns from a young age that failure is more just an opportunity to learn a life lesson, they will be able to cope with the negative feelings associated with failure. If you feel that you, your child, or your family could use more support in this area, please reach out to Amel Counseling & Consulting for a free, 15-minute consultation call today!

Talking About Suicide

September is world suicide prevention month.

About one million people die by suicide every year. Globally, suicide is in the top 3 leading causes of death. 

The most important keys to suicide prevention is awareness, education, and communication.

Communication can be easier said than done. 

It can be a tough subject for people to talk about in general, especially parents with their children. Sometimes parents can worry that talking to their kids and teens about suicide is actually going to increase the likelihood, but experts say this is not the case. 

If there are any specific situations in your child or adolescents’ school that would involve having a conversation about suicide, experts encourage this. It may be hard, as their parents, to sit down and discuss such upsetting situations. But it is more important for them to know that you want them to come to you immediately if they are struggling.

Opening up the conversation about suicide for your children is also important because it de-stigmatizes the subject,not only  helping them to understand that they can come to you but that they can discuss suicide with their friends too if they see anything concerning amongst their peers.

Kids and teens who appear to be struggling but have difficulties with admitting they need help might benefit from parents directly asking them about suicide. This can send the message that the parent cares, that they want to help them, and that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Beating around the bush makes it seem like something shameful, and ignoring it sends the message that their struggles are not concerning. 

Some kids and teens who have contemplated suicide keep it close to the vest and hide their feelings, but others are open about it and let those close to them know that they are in pain. This is why it may be beneficial to ask your child if you have seen any signs that are concerning.

Here are some of the warning signs to watch out for if you are worried about your child or adolescent having suicidal ideations.

1. Mood swings

2. Changes in sleep- less or more

3. Changes in appetite- eating less or eating more

4. Dropping grades

5. Giving away belongings- especially important ones

6. Isolating from friends and family in their room

7. Reckless behavior

8. Using drugs or alcohol

9. Writing or drawing about suicide

10. Expressing feeling like a burden or unworthy

11. Expressing feeling unwanted or like they don’t belong

12. Expressing hopelessness

13. Talking (even joking) about wanting to die

14. Strange internet search history

It’s also important to add that any and all suicidal thoughts should be taken seriously, so a conversation about suicide could genuinely be lifesaving for your kid or teen. 

It would be especially imperative to look out for warning signs of suicide if your child or adolescent is being bullied in school, if your family has a history of mental health disorders, if your family has ever experienced a death by suicide, or if they have struggled or do struggle with alcohol/substance abuse.

If your child or teen needs immediate and urgent help with this, here are some resources:

Call or text 988 - The Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

Available 24 hours.

If you would like to begin counseling with a child or adolescent therapist, don’t hesitate to reach out to Amel Counseling & Consulting today for a free, 15-minute phone consultation so that we can see how we can provide proper support for you and your family.

De-escalating Strategies for Meltdowns

Sometimes kids' emotions get too big for them. Whether it’s stress, sadness, grief, anxiety, frustration, anger, or depression, a lot of times kids will blow up when they don’t know how to express themselves or calm down.

As parents, you are not perfect and nobody expects you to be. You have your own feelings, frustrations, and stress, and emotions to work through. When your child is having a meltdown, it can be really difficult to have controlled responses and know the best possible reaction to have in order to not make matters worse.

If your child has been having meltdowns, there are a lot of different things that you could try doing (or avoid doing) to help de-escalate the situation.

Here are some tips:

1. Avoid making demands

   1. This can agitate the situation

   2. Your child cannot focus on the demands

2. Try being silent

   1. It can calm your child down if you are nonreactive

   2. Talking can make overstimulation worse

3. Try remaining nonjudgmental

   1. It can be important for them to know that you are understanding

   2. They are more likely to try to work out their feelings or open up if they know you won’t hold it against them

4. Try decreasing sensory stimulation

   1. Try turning down the TV or turning off anything that is making a lot of noise

   2. Sometimes background noise, bright lights, or loud sounds can make meltdowns worse

5. Try using calming sensory input

   1. A fuzzy blanket, warm colors, and soft/calming music can make them feel better

   2. Fidgets, stress balls, and stuffed animals can help as well

6. Try deep breathing

   1. This can calm them physiologically

   2. Lowers their heart rate, tells their mind to calm down, and helps them understand they are safe

7. Try using distractions

   1. Music, their favorite show, a book, or toys can help them turn their focus on something else

8. Avoid trying to reason

   1. There is a time and place for reasoning, but mid-meltdown is not it

   2. Logical reasoning is difficult when they are overstimulated or have heightened emotions

9. Avoid yelling 

   1. Yelling can further agitate or upset them

10. Try being aware of your body language

    1. Even though you may be getting frustrated, it’s important to remain calm yourself

    2. You don’t want your child to think they are in trouble

11. Avoid crowding their personal space

    1. They may need some room to “cool down”

12. Try validating their feelings, but not their actions

    1. Tell them you understand why they feel the way that they feel, but there are better ways to express that

    2. After they are calm, you can teach them how to better express their feelings

13. Try answering their questions, but ignore verbal aggression

    1. Sometimes keeping it short and simple is best

    2. If they are agitated or upset because they don’t understand something, calmly answer

    3. Ignore them when they are being verbally aggressive

14. Try getting down to your child’s level

    1. Sometimes sitting on the floor can help

    2. Speak quietly and use words that they understand

15. Try taking a walk or movement break

    1. This can help children “reset”

    2. Changing scenery, moving their body, and getting fresh air can make a huge improvement

If your child is having frequent meltdowns and you feel as though you could use more support in this area, don’t hesitate to reach out for a child therapist at Amel Counseling & Consulting today!

Back to School Anxiety

Going back to school can be a bit of a trigger for some kids and teens.

Some kids are more perceptive and attune to their emotions, while others can be weighed down by their own expectations and perfectionism. Because of this, when fall semester peaks around the corner, your kid can start to have some big worries and might start acting differently.

Talking to your kid and making them feel supported can really help with their back to school anxiety.

If your kid or teen has been overly irritable or moody, showing signs of stress, having difficulties with sleep, or trying to avoid school related subjects/ situations, it’s possible that they are feeling nervous about returning to school or starting a new grade. 

Here are some tips for working through back to school anxiety:

1. It’s okay if they don’t want to talk about it at first, or at all!

   • If you can sense that your kid or teen is feeling anxious about going back to school, but they want to avoid the subject altogether, this is actually a common coping mechanism.

   • The most important thing is not forcing them to talk about it but letting them know that you understand and are here for them.

   • It might help to give them some space and time before they can open up about it.

   • Let them know that you are here for them now and any time they feel stressed about school.

2. Hear your kid or teen out if they do want to talk.

   • If your kid or teen does want to talk about it, hear them out (without automatically telling them it’s fine).

   • Acknowledge the worries that have and validate them. 

   • They could be worried about harder classes, socializing, getting older, moving to a new school, or balancing their workload; all of these are valid concerns and it’s important for them to know that.

   • After validation, let them know that you would like to try and make a plan so that they can feel better.

3. Brainstorm together.

   • Try to come up with some solutions together for the reasons that they are feeling anxiety about going back to school.

   • You could try to come up with a system or a routine together to help them balance their workload.

   • You could buy a white board for them so that they can stay on top of their weekly schedule.

   • You could work together to make sure they are not feeling overwhelmed or over scheduled.

   • You could even practice socializing with them, such as having them introduce themselves to you or practice starting conversations and making friends; nothing is too silly and anything can be helpful if your child feels it is.

4. Talk about some of the stuff they may be looking forward to.

   • AFTER validating your child’s concerns and trying to problem solve however you can, it might help to have them talk about some things they are looking forward to.

   • This does not mean telling them that school is going to be “great,” “fine,” or “fun once they are there,” as these general statements usually don’t help kids (or anyone) that’s stressed out.

   • Try asking about specific things they enjoy, like seeing their friends, sports/gym, art, and a subject they may like or excel at.

Encouraging Siblings to Work it Out

Sometimes siblings are very first, very best friends. They can be playmates, fierce protectors, role models, confidantes, and so much more. Sibling bonds may be the most supportive, meaningful bonds that kids have in their lives.

Sometimes, though, siblings act like mortal enemies. And sometimes, it’s a little bit of all of the above, all at once. Especially when they have been spending too much time together– like summer break.

With the new school year around the corner and summer coming to an end, tensions may be a little higher, and your kids might be a little stressed and bummed out. This, probably, isn’t helping with the sibling disagreements either.

There are some things that parents can do to give their kids a little extra help trying to keep the peace. Here are some things to consider:

1. What’s causing the conflict?

   1. Sometimes siblings clash over things that they have to share.

   2. This could be toys, small spaces, or attention.

2. Is there a solution?

   1. Some parents have the kids trade off who gets to make decisions, like what game to play or movie to watch.

   2. Setting ground rules about sharing can help reduce arguments; they can defer to the rules.

3. Add some structure.

   1. Some kids need the rules posted so that they can remember to follow and understand them.

   2. Kids thrive with structured schedules, so it may be a good idea to create a schedule and hang it somewhere that is easy for everyone to see.

   3. Highlight routines, chores, and how you intend to divvy this up.

4. Have some patience.

   1. It may take some time for kids to get used to a new system.

   2. Gentle reminders are encouraged when necessary, but if they seem to be purposely not following the rules, there should be appropriate repercussions.

   3. Sometimes it helps to lay out the consequences ahead of time (i.e. no TV time later if you don’t do your morning routine)

5. Reinforce the behavior when they work out their issues.

   1. Give them a chance to work out their disagreements without immediately stepping in.

   2. Give words of encouragement whenever they do this; you could say, “Great job sharing with your brother, you know it means a lot to him!”

   3. Ignore them when they whine (as much as you humanly can).

6. Communicate openly about things that cause friction.

   1. If there are age differences between siblings and the older sibling has slightly different rules, sometimes this makes the younger one feel like things are not fair.

   2. Have discussions about why this is the case.

   3. An example could be a later bedtime for the older child.

7. Emphasize their individual strengths equally.

   1. Some siblings argue because they struggle with comparing themselves to their siblings; they might feel like they are not as good at certain things.

   2. Teach your kids that everyone is different and some people excel in different ways.

   3. Point out to your children the different strengths that they have, equally.

8. Emphasize their strengths when they work as a team and the positive aspects of having siblings.

   1. Asking them to complete a task together can encourage them to bond.

   2. When they work together or treat each other with kindness, discuss the specific strengths of them as a team and ways that they worked well.

Of course, it’s normal for siblings to argue. However, sometimes sibling arguments can be a bit too much. It’s important to get ahead of some of these disagreements so that you can make it a teachable moment for them. As always, if you need any additional support, reach out to Amel Counseling & Consulting for a free, 15-minute consultation call today.

The Silver Lining of Boredom

At this point in summer vacation, your kids are probably complaining often about being bored. 

As their parents (who likely are not on summer break), it can be challenging to try to come up with ways to keep them entertained. 

There is also a lot of pressure from social media on parents to be finding new, unique, Pinterest-board-worthy activities to fill their kids’ days, and that’s not always a sustainable expectation to have for yourselves.

The truth is, it’s okay for kids to just be bored.

Even though it may seem like things are not going their way, or are less than ideal, and they may be frustrated by this, there are a lot of benefits to kids being bored.

Boredom helps kids develop skills that can become valuable for them. 

One of these skills is tolerance for when things are not exciting or ideal. Another skill is frustration and emotion regulation, because kids will be required to find a solution to their boredom in a way that encourages good behavior.

Some of the other skills that can be learned when kids are at their most bored are confidence, creativity, and curiosity. They have the opportunity to be imaginative, artistic, ponder about their own interests, and learn new things.

Next time your kid says they are bored, use it as a teachable moment. Say, “Let’s see what you can come up with to do!”

It could be helpful to sit with them and discuss things that they find interesting or care about. These interests can be written down as goals or projects that your kids can turn to when they are feeling the monotony of life.

If you have younger kids, it could be helpful to come up with a range of activities that are not overly time consuming, like dress-up, playing sports outside, or art. It might be a good idea to give them choices of activities and tell them they have to pick one.

If you have older kids or teens, they can take on bigger projects that require more time, patience, and responsibility. This could be something like managing a garden, creating/inventing things, building things, or cooking/baking.

If a project or activity does not go as planned, that’s fine! That is just another skill that boredom teaches: not giving up and coming back from failure.

Boredom is definitely not a fun feeling to have. However, just like any unpleasant feeling, it can be a teachable moment for them to utilize coping skills and self-reflect on what they can do to feel better.

A Therapist Shares 6 Habits that are Actually Anxiety Related

Some personality traits have benefits and positive sides to them, but can also be signs of anxiety if they are taken too far and start to inhibit your everyday life and happiness.

Some behaviors can be due to underlying anxiety that may be going unnoticed and, therefore, unresolved. If you have been feeling off and are unsure about what you are struggling with, here are some habits that you may not realize can be related to anxiety.

1. Self doubt

   • Struggle to trust yourself or your own opinions

   • Imposter syndrome

   • Tend to be indecisive

   • Need validation from others 

2. Safety objects

   • Inanimate objects that you rely on

   • Don’t feel fully comfortable if you don’t have them

   • Depending on the person’s age, this can look different

   • Could be a stuffed toy, headphones, water bottle, sweater

3. Being surprised when you are relaxed

   • It feels different when you are not worried

   • Being relaxed is rare

   • Find yourself wondering why you are feeling so “chill”

   • Start to stress that you are forgetting about something or should be worried

   • Don’t trust the relaxed feeling you are having

4. Over preparing and over thinking

   • Feeling stress when you are not in control

   • Running through various scenarios in your head before doing something

   • Trying to avoid negative outcomes by being extremely prepared and thought out

   • Upcoming events make you feel uneasy

5. Being guarded with your feelings

   • Similar to wanting to be in control

   • Struggle to trust people

   • Tend to brush your anxiety under the rug/ appear standoffish

   • Slow to warm up to people you don’t know well

   • Tend to hide any vulnerable or even all emotions until you feel more comfortable

6. Perfectionism

   • Trying to excel at everything

   • Being hard on yourself

   • Overly ambitious and pushing yourself too far

   • People-pleasing, wanting to make everybody happy

   • Unrealistic expectations

If any of these habits resonated with you, it may be a good idea to reach out for some extra support. Whether you are a parent whose child is expressing these concerns, or a teen who is feeling them personally, Amel Counseling is here to help! Reach out today for a free, 15-minute phone consultation today.

Mental Health Tips For Teens Headed to College

As the days move on, and we reach mid-way-through-summer, teens who are going to college this fall could be starting to feel mixed emotions anywhere from excited to anxious.

The beginning of the school year is a little over a month away, but it’s super important to check in and make sure teens feel mentally and emotionally prepared to leave for college. These conversations can start to happen as soon as possible.

Teens, though you may tend to procrastinate, experts don’t advise that you wait until you’re fully living on campus to start thinking about how to protect your mental health and emotional well-being.

Here are some tips for parents and teens who want to start preemptively preparing themselves for their big move to college:

1. Look at what the college has to offer as far as extracurriculars and clubs together.

   1. This helps prevent feelings of loneliness and isolation.

   2. Broadening their social network and support system can be good for people living in a new place.

   3. Having roommates is another way to prevent possibly feeling like they don’t have a place.

   4. Extracurriculars and clubs can also encourage exploration and learning about new interests.

2. Prioritize health and wellness.

   1. Sleep is really important, and a lot of teens struggle with not getting enough sleep; if this is something you struggle with, try to prioritize getting 8 hours a night this summer.

   2. Make sure you move your body in some way that makes you feel good (yoga, walks, working out, running, etc)

   3. Start incorporating foods into your diet that make you feel good too, whether that means ordering a salad with your pizza or drinking nutritious smoothies.

   4. Lowering screen time can also really help teens get better sleep or feel more motivated to move their bodies.

3. Have real and open conversations about drinking.

   1. Teens will likely drink socially in college if they have not already; this may make parents nervous, but there are ways to have this conversation that prioritize their safety.

   2. Discussing this openly can help prevent teens from giving in to pressure with anything that makes them uncomfortable.

   3. Understanding limits, setting boundaries, and making plans for safety should take priority over being judgemental, strict, or controlling.

   4. It’s important for teens to practice setting these limitations now before they go away, and knowing that their parents will be there for them if they need them.

4. Connect with the school’s counseling center and ask the right questions, so that your teen and family can know the policies and have a plan in place if you need to use them.

   1. Is there an on-call counselor 24 hours a day, or some sort of after hours emergency service? Is there some sort of text line available or resident advisers for students?

   2. Are students allowed to visit the counseling center as much as they need to for free? What services are provided?

   3. What accommodations are available for students with disabilities, and do these accommodations apply for students with emotional disorders? An example of this could be note takers.

   4. What is the school’s policy on taking leaves of absence for mental health purposes.

5. Have conversations with your family about mental health.

   1. Discuss anything that may run in your family or that parents experienced in college, as this can be a common age of prognosis.

   2. Put a plan into place if your mental health starts to waver when you move

   3. Make sure nobody feels judged about their feelings or emotions, and validate/ de-stigmatize it.

As always, if your teen or family would like to receive additional supports outside of the advice that this blog has discussed, Amel Counseling & Consulting is always here for you. Reach out today and schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation and ask to schedule with one of our teen or family therapists!

How to Help Kids Express Anger

Anger sometimes has a bad reputation, and gets labeled as a “negative emotion.” However, it’s a natural, primal human emotion that starts to develop as early as infancy.

Though it’s perfectly normal, when your child gets angry and worked up, it can be incredibly stressful. It can be a huge help to try to understand what message the anger itself is trying to give.

If you, like many parents, are wondering how to teach your kids to deal with and express their anger, here are some tips!

1. Don’t be afraid of temper tantrums/ outbursts. Though unpleasant, tantrums can tell you a lot about your kid or teen’s needs.

   1. Are they over scheduled?

   2. Do they need more of something (i.e. sleep), or less of something (i.e. screen time)?

   3. Is there something more going on that you may need more support with, such as anxiety, depression, bullying, ADHD, ASD?

2. Try to remain calm. Yelling at a kid or teen who is already worked up will only escalate the situation.

   1. Try to respond with compassion.

   2. Make sure you take your child somewhere safe so that they don’t get hurt.

   3. Model calmness, even though you are stressed, so that they see how you handle things.

3. Identifying triggers is super important. The goal is not to eliminate anger, but to teach them how to handle it in the best way.

   1. Identifying triggers can take time.

   2. Look for the moments when their frustration levels are starting to reach their boiling point.

   3. For some kids, this is loud noises, crowded spaces, hunger, fatigue, being told no, or being overstimulated.

4. Calming strategies are key.

   1. Kids need to find their own ways to self-regulate, ideally before their emotions get too intense for them.

   2. Their calming strategies may be different from yours, which is okay.

   3. Explore different outlets for anger, such as breathing exercises. This may take some experimentation.

   4. In an ideal world, you will steer them to use their calming strategies whenever you see them beginning to get frustrated.

Although anger is a very natural emotion, there is a point where it’s possible you may need to reach out for additional support. Parents of kids and teens should try to be mindful of if their anger is intense or constant. It’s super important that they are still able to do what they need to do in school, with family, and when socializing with peers without their irritability getting in the way.

If you feel like your child or teen’s anger is too out of control, and it’s affecting their everyday life, reach out for a free, 15-minute phone consultation with Amel Counseling & Consulting today to schedule sessions with a therapist.

Strategies for a Relaxing Summer Break

One difficulty that a lot of parents have when it comes to their kids is when school ends and summer break begins. Life gets busy, routines change, and some of the structure their kids previously have kind of falls off. 

We get it! It happens. 

But, for kids who struggle with emotional, developmental, and mental health issues, this change can be rough, and can start to throw them (and your whole household) for a loop.

Kids thrive with structure. It makes them feel more safe and comfortable, and this is even more true for kids who have anxiety, ADHD, autism, etc. This could be why your kid actually does better throughout the school year and is having a harder time this summer.

So, what are some tips to regain a sense of structure that is reminiscent of school, and have a successful summer break?

1. Reward the “good” behaviors. 

   1. Examples of good rewards are special outings, a point system where they earn stickers/tokens and can add them up and trade it in for something, or verbal praise

   2. Rewards are super important for kids who are struggling emotionally or behaviorally

   3. It shows them that, when they exhibit pleasant behavior, everyone wins

   4. Ignoring the small, unwanted or unpleasant behaviors is a good way of giving the message that acting out will not give them what they want

2. Maintain a routine

   1. Keeping their usual bedtimes and meal times (or following as closely as you can) is important

   2. Kids who struggle with anxiety can benefit from a schedule being posted where they can see it

   3. Keep the “staples” of the everyday routine (getting ready, meal times, chore times), and then plan other activities or outings around it (play dates, pool time, playground)

3. Take care of yourself

   1. It’s really important for parents to check in with themselves and their needs as well, since summer break can be so exhausting

   2. If you need breaks, take breaks! Hire a sitter or leave kids with family members

   3. It’s normal if your kids are acting out more, but also very draining for you, so give yourself some grace

4. Play outdoors

   1. Playing outside is important for kids because they get physical exercise and will likely behave better when they are less bored

   2. It’s important that kids always have supervision outside

   3. If camp is an option, this could be good for kids who need more structure and outdoor playtime

   4. Kids need breaks from screens, as screens can be comforting in the moment but can create more long term anxiety as a child gets more reliant on it

As always, it’s super important to note that parents are human too and do not need to be perfect. Having a picture-perfect family is an extremely unattainable and unrealistic goal. Each family has its struggles and stressors. If your child is struggling a little extra with the changes that summer break brings, you are not alone! Try different things and see what works. 

And, as always, if you feel as though you could benefit from extra support, we have child therapists who can do that! Reach out to Amel Counseling & Consulting today for a free, 15-minute phone consultation and start your journey!

Party Ideas for Kids with Sensory Input Difficulties

Birthday parties, holidays, and other celebrations can be a pretty overwhelming environment for kids who struggle with sensory input. You may have a child who needs more sensory stimulation than others, or you may have a child who gets easily overstimulated and needs less than others. You may even have both.

Kids who tend to need more sensory stimulation may get bored easily and become distraught, or even have meltdowns. Kids who get overstimulated more easily may have outbursts or meltdowns if a place is too loud, too quiet, or if something feels uncomfortable to them.

It can be hard for parents to navigate hosting celebrations when they can be so stressful for their highly sensitive children. You want your child to have a good time and be comfortable, but you also want your guests to enjoy themselves too. 

It can be difficult to balance the needs of everyone when there is such a vast range between the ways the guests process sensory input. 

Here are a few ways to host an inclusive event that is sensory-friendly and a fun environment for everyone involved.

1. Allow for choice.

   • Share the party plan with your child ahead of time

   • Let them know what to expect as far as guest count and activities

   • Ask other parents to let you know if there are other sensory concerns

   • Let singing, dancing, or other potentially overwhelming activities be optional

2. Separate the different activities into zones.

   • Keep the high-energy activities in their own areas

   • Create zones for the louder activities, such as outdoors, basement, playroom

   • Provide a quiet space for kids to take breaks

3. Keep the sensory activities more structured.

   • Kids who need more sensory stimulation can benefit from physical activity, but will need a chaperone to keep things even-keel 

   • Water games, finger painting, and races are examples of sensory activities

   • Keep them on a timeline so that kids don’t get overstimulated

   • Allow kids to take breaks or sit out on the games when they feel they need to

Sensory-friendly options are super important for parents of children who have sensory processing difficulties. If you are the parent of a child who struggles with sensory input, and feel that you could benefit from more support, reach out for a free, 15-minute consultation call today. Amel Counseling and Consulting has child and teen therapists who can support you! 

Otherwise, happy party planning!

Adjustment Disorders Among Kids and Teens

Adjustment disorders are among the most common diagnoses among children and adolescents. 

A kid or teen may be diagnosed with an adjustment disorder if they have gone through a big life change and are struggling to adapt to it. This big life change may be a stressful event that made them feel a lack of control in an area of their life.

Sometimes, parents may miss the symptoms of an adjustment disorder because they did not view the life change as big, or stressful, but depending on the child or teen’s age, it may have been considered a big change to them. 

Adjustment disorders are typically temporary, lasting 3-6 months depending on the situation.

It is still imperative to take the child’s or adolescent’s feelings seriously, regardless of how big or small you feel the event may be.

Any stressful event can lead to an adjustment disorder. 

Some examples of big changes that may lead to an adjustment disorder are:

• divorce

• moving homes

•  changing schools

• having a younger sibling

• a divorced parent dating/ moving in with their partner

• moving from in-person to virtual school (or vice versa)

• a pet dying

• a friend or family member moving away, and so much more

How do you know if your kid or teen is struggling with an adjustment disorder?

The trademark sign of an adjustment disorder is when a child or teen has an unusually strong behavioral or emotional reaction following any of the stressful events previously listed, within three months of it occurring. This reaction is not only unusually strong or disproportionate to the event, but also out of the ordinary for what is considered typical for them. 

There are also different kinds of adjustment disorders:

Adjustment disorder with depressed mood

This type is categorized by feelings of hopelessness and lack of motivation within the reaction to the stressful event.

Adjustment disorder with anxiety

This type has symptoms of feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or worried following the stressful event they are struggling to adapt to. Kids may also struggle to separate from parents. 

Adjustment disorder with mixed anxiety and depressed mood

This type is categorized by feeling both depressed and anxious following the stressful event.

Adjustment disorder with disturbance of conduct

This type involves symptoms of behavioral problems within the reaction to the stressful event.

Adjustment disorder with mixed disturbance of emotions and conduct

This type is categorized by symptoms that are a combination of depressed mood, anxiety, and behavioral issues. 

Adjustment disorder unspecified

This type involves symptoms that don’t really fit into the other categories and can sometimes be hard to pin down. These may be physical symptoms, problems with relationships, or struggling in school.

Adjustment disorder may be common, but it is also very treatable. If you feel like your kid or teen may be struggling with adjustment disorder after reading this post, you will be happy to hear that therapy is a very successful way to treat it!

If you feel like your child could use some extra support following a stressful event, and want to seek therapy for them to help them adjust, call today to schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation with one of our child or teen therapists!

LGBTQ+ Kids and Teens

The clinicians at Amel Counseling and Consulting are always working toward providing a supportive space for our LGBTQ+ clients and their families, and prioritize being allies for the community.

In honor of Pride Month, it feels fitting to share information for parents and how they can support their LGBTQ+ kids, particularly when they are going through the process of coming out.

Coming out can cause your child to feel very mixed emotions. They may feel relieved, scared, and everything in between. Because this process can be a combination of daunting and critical, the support of their parents is absolutely essential.

The process of coming out to their loved ones can be rocky and painful; there may be some friends, classmates, extended family, and co-workers who did not receive the news well (or even some who said hurtful things). 

While this is not something you have the ability to shield or shelter your child from, this makes your response as their parent even more important.

Let’s talk about your feelings as a parent. 

You are human first. It’s perfectly normal for you to have your own, vulnerable, even distressing feelings about your child coming out to you as LGBTQ+. However, it is imperative to not express those feelings to them. It’s always important to keep in mind what is best for your child. Another thing many parents struggle with is learning that they were not the first to learn of this news and, in many cases, were the last. This is extremely common and nothing to be concerned about. Oftentimes kids will disclose to other kids first, such as friends or peers who may be in the LGBTQ+ community. They may then choose to disclose to other trusted adults (outside of the family) next, just to test the waters. Try not to take this personally; it’s normal for them to talk to like-minded individuals first and also for them to be a little worried about disappointing their parents at first. At the end of the day, they came to you, and that’s what matters.

Now, let’s talk about how to manage those feelings. 

If you have these strong feelings of stress, anxiety, and sadness, it would be a good idea to seek your own support, whether it be a parent support group, a therapist, parent coaching, or marriage counseling if you are having a difficult time with your child coming out as LGBTQ+.

Now, let’s talk about your response to your child. 

The LGBTQ+ community has staggering statistics of suicidal ideations for feeling that their lifestyle is not accepted by the people in their world. Others leave home, cut off family members, become homeless, etc. As a parent, these are things you never, ever want your child to feel is their only option. You want to send the message that you are so thankful that they are telling you, that you are glad they feel comfortable to open up to you, and that you want to understand more about what is going on. You want your child to feel like they can be honest with you so that you can work to figure out what the best next step would be. If you have questions, ask them calmly when they are ready to talk about it further.

Let’s talk about your child’s needs.

Your child needs you to listen without judgment, validation, and support. You don’t want to minimize the important step that they have taken by choosing to come out. You also don’t want to take that step for them and inform anyone that they are LGBTQ+ for them. Make sure that your child knows that you love them, that you are there for them, and are ready for whatever their next steps may be whenever they feel ready for it. Maybe your child just wanted to come out and is not ready to talk about it any further. Maybe your child has started to come out and is facing some obstacles in their relationships and needs a therapist to process their feelings about this. 

If you are the parent of a child or adolescent who has recently come out as LGBTQ+, and you think it would be helpful for them to receive further support individually, you want your own support as a parent, or you want to begin sessions as a family, reach out to Amel Counseling and Consulting for a free, 15-minute consultation call today! We are here for you.

Neurodiversity in Children and Teens

Neurodiversity is a word that basically describes the ways a variety of people think. 

It is used to destigmatize the different ways people’s brains work, the idea being that there is no “normal” or “correct” way. There are, instead, many ways that people learn, think, and retain information. 

This is especially important when discussing children and teens, because this affects the way that schools determine their approach to neurodiversity. 

Teachers and school staff could either teach only in one style, or they could be informed about the different ways both neurotypical and neurodivergent children process information and understand that they may require more support. 

The idea of neurodiversity is not only to be informed about it, but also to encourage and embrace the differences between people and the way their brains work. 

Neurodiversity also emphasizes the strengths that kids and teens have because of the way that their minds work. A major goal is for people to make life more accessible to those who see the world differently, instead of assuming everybody sees things from the same perspective.

So, what populations are considered neurodivergent?

People with diagnoses such as Autism, Learning Disorders, and ADHD are among those considered to be neurodivergent.

They learn differently, they express themselves differently, they have different talents, and they thrive in different environments.

Knowing this, it would be beneficial for them to receive information in ways that use and play on their strengths.

With all of this being said, learning about neurodiversity is important because more and more children and adolescents are identifying as neurodivergent. It is becoming increasingly common, especially with the internet and forums where a lot of information exists about these diagnoses.

Regardless of a formal diagnosis, kids and teens who recognize that they think differently than the majority of their peers may find a sense of community with the neurodivergent population.

It can also help them form a sense of identity and autonomy when they find their space and place in the world, and feel less alone to learn that others think the same way as them.

What can you do as a parent of a kid or teen who either has a formal diagnosis that is considered neurodivergent, or of a kid or teen who self-identifies as neurodivergent?

You can empathize with the struggles or difficulties they may be having in school if there are little to no accommodations for the neurodiverse.

You can consider having them formally evaluated and diagnosed, especially if it would help their case in school and help their teachers see their perspective better.

You can support their feelings and sense of community and identity.

You can learn about neurodivergence, particularly in the way that your child presents or manifests it, and choose to focus on their strengths rather than seeing it as a weakness or less than. It is not a deficit simply because it is different.

You can also consider seeking additional support, such as a child or teen therapist, who can help them manage their big emotions that may come with the frustrations of living in a world that is not as accessible to them as to others. 

If your child or teen is neurodivergent, it’s also possible that they have some symptoms that can cause stress, such as anxiety, overstimulation, meltdowns, anger, and more. 

If you would like additional support, reach out to a therapist at Amel Counseling & Consulting today and schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation. We want to help your kid/ teen thrive.

How to Support and Talk to Your Child in Scary Times

The news has been utterly frightening this week. As parents, you may be inclined to shield your children from the details of the school shooting. You may be worried this will be anxiety inducing and make your child afraid to go to school. The reality is, your child will hear the story somewhere, whether through peers, online, on the TV, or on the radio. It’s unrealistic and near-impossible to keep something like this from them. It’s also exponentially better for your child to hear about something like this from you directly, as opposed to outside sources, as this promotes communication and conversation in your family. Although these conversations are difficult to have, it’s important.

So, how do you even go about discussing something so horrific with little ones? Are you worried you’ll do more harm than good? Here are some tips to help you work through this process.

1. Give yourself the space and grace

   to process your own feelings of distress, sadness, anger, and grief. You’re a human first before a parent. How are you feeling? Make sure you check in with yourself and seek the proper support if you need it. You don’t need to be perfect and strong; you’re allowed to be vulnerable and have your own complicated feelings.

2. Break the news to them early.

   As mentioned before, delaying the conversation may not be the best call, since they will likely get the story from somewhere else. You do want to be the one to lay the facts out and set the emotional tone for them. They look to you for safety, comfort, and honesty.

3. Be developmentally appropriate.

   It may not be the best idea to go into too many details with your young ones, as this can be overwhelming and upsetting. Volunteer as much and as little information as you feel gets the point across, and allow them to ask some questions. Allow them to volunteer any information they may know or feelings they may have. Do your best to be honest, clear, and concise; however, if you don’t have all the answers, that’s okay. You’re having the conversation and that’s what really matters. Expect that your child may want to come back to the subject a few times.

4. Model calmness.

   It’s okay to tell your child how you’re feeling and use as many feelings words as you need to. Explain that your feelings may be complicated, and it’s normal to feel more than one thing at once. Just remain calm while telling the story and expressing your feelings. Most kids absorb the tone and emotions you are modeling, and might lose the important details along the way. If you remain calm, they will get the point of the situation and then be able to feel their own feelings.

5. Reassure them.

   Talking about tragedies is impossibly difficult. What’s important to know about kids is that they are egocentric. They are likely to hear about an act of violence and immediately worry that something like this could happen to them. It’s really important to reassure them and make sure they feel safe; tell them that the situation is being handled and investigated by people who are working hard to do so, measures are being taken to insure safety, and that (hopefully) we as a whole are learning from it.

6. Help them express their feelings.

   Some kids like to express themselves through writing, art, dance, movement, conversation, singing, and more. Whatever your child typically uses to let their feelings out, ask if they want to do that now with you. Do it together or as a family. Encouraging your child to express their feelings rather than bottle them up is important in situations like acts of violence because it helps them learn that their feelings are valid and gives them an outlet for them. They will learn to do this in other situations.

7. Be available.

   As stated before, your child will likely have more questions in the coming days, weeks, months, etc. Your child may also be emotional and upset. Spend time with them to make them feel better and sit with them in their emotions. Although it may feel uncomfortable, some kids take comfort in doing “normal” things while trying to heal from being anxious or frightened, and that’s okay.

8. Create a memorial.

   Some children feel a lot better when they can create something nice for the lives who were lost. Talk about what they may want to do. Maybe they want to plant a tree or flowers in their memory; maybe they want to make something like pottery or artwork. Maybe they want to make cards or something else. Children are sweet and thoughtful and may feel they want to do something special.

If you feel like your child could benefit from more support outside of the home, reach out to Amel Counseling & Consulting and set up a free, 15-minute phone consultation with a child therapist. We have therapists that are ready and willing to provide parent coaching sessions, individual sessions with children, or family sessions.

De-escalation Strategies for Meltdowns

We have parents coming to us all the time at their absolute wit’s end saying that their child has meltdowns. They usually say things like,

“it comes out of nowhere, nothing helps, and my kid can never tell me why it happened later.”

For some children this can be an indicator of something bigger going on, like anxiety, depression, over-stimulation, stress, ADHD, or ASD. But for some kids, the reason they have meltdowns or outbursts is really hard to pin down, and it may take longer to get to the “why.” 

So, if this is you, you may be wondering what you can do about it now!

This can be really frustrating, concerning, and stressful for parents!

The good news is, you are not alone. Many kids go through phases where they have explosive outbursts that seem to be untriggered, and end just as quickly as they begin. 

Here are some different things that you could try to do to manage your child’s meltdowns and temper tantrums in your house

1. Don’t yell to be heard.

   If your child is screaming, don’t try to scream over them, it only escalates the situation.

2. Don’t try to reason (right away).

   Although it’s tempting, you will honestly get nowhere with a child who is mid-temper tantrum, so discuss it when they are calm.

3. Avoid the word “no” when they are amidst a meltdown. 

4. Use calming visual input, such as something relaxing on the television. 

5. Use a distraction.

   Sometimes we tell parents to do something funny, other times we tell parents to create a joy zone in their home with toys and games so that their kid can go there when they feel like they are getting upset.

6. Silence.

   Now is not the time for a life lesson, trust me! Just stay calm and try not to do too much talking when they are having a meltdown.

7. Validate their feelings but not their actions.

   You don’t need to be okay with your child screaming and throwing things to recognize that it’s okay for them to be stressed out or anxious. It’s a good opportunity to model communication about feelings.

8. Get down to their level.

   It might help if you sit on the floor with them and just be there.

9. Don’t be too emotional; remain very calm and level.

   Easier said than done, but presenting as frustrated will only make your child feel worse. 

10. Remain non-judgmental.

    Your child needs to know that you are there for him, even if you don’t condone the way they reacted to their big feelings.

11. Be aware of your body language.

    You may be inclined to bring them into a safer room with less breakable items or sharp edges (which is fine) but remember to be mindful of coming off threatening.

12. Respect their space.

    Once again, it’s okay to gently guide them into a safer room if the room they are in is not super-ideal, but be respectful of their personal space.

13. Practice deep breathing and other coping skills.

    Taking deep breaths can instantly make your kid feel better. Some other examples of coping skills are drinking water, closing their eyes, taking a walk, and hugging a stuffed animal. We also love stress balls!

14. Avoid making demands when they’re in the middle of a temper tantrum.

15. Reflective listening.

    Listening intently and reflecting on what your child has to say, without thinking about what you are going to say next or being distracted, is so important. Children can really reveal some surprising, insightful, and helpful information if you truly take the time to listen to them. 

If your child has been struggling with meltdowns, outbursts, and temper tantrums, and you are starting to feel the stress weighing on you, you are definitely not alone.

While all of these tips can be super helpful, temper tantrums in childhood can also be a sign of a deeper underlying issue, such as learning disabilities, anxiety, depression, a disrupted sleeping schedule, autism, ADHD, and more.

It may be a good idea to seek help from a mental health professional for the proper assessment, support, advice, and treatment plan.

Reach out to Amel Counseling & Consulting today and schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation with one of our child therapists!

Talking to Your Kids About Their Mental Health

Pretty much all parents have thought from time to time that they would prefer to shield their children from all of the upsetting, concerning, unpleasant feelings they may encounter throughout their lives. Some kids and teens sometimes have big feelings and worries! And some feel their feelings very deeply, and may struggle at times.

Unfortunately, it’s impossible to shelter kids and teens from some of the more complex situations and emotions that life may bring. 

However, what parents can do is figure out the best way to communicate with their kids about their mental health, and make sure that their kids know that they are there for them, especially if they seem to be going through something.

It may take kids and teens some time to open up about whatever it is that could be bothering them, and they may be wary about how to express what it is they are thinking or feeling. 

Here are some comprehensive tips to get the conversation started.

1. Let them know if you notice that they seem off.

   You could start by saying something simple such as, “I notice you seem really down lately.” This could spark a conversation about what is going on with them internally, so that they know they don’t need to hide it.

2. Validate their feelings.

   The different ways that kids and teens think are sometimes surprising to parents. They may think that they are supposed to suppress their unpleasant feelings, so it could be important to let them know that you would rather them talk about it with you when they are ready. You could simply say, “It seems like you have had a hard week. It’s okay to be down sometimes.”

3. Let them know that you are here for them.

   Telling them that you care, are there to listen, and would love to come up with a solution can go a long way. Your child may need to know that they won’t get in trouble if they are not okay. You could say something like, “I’m here for you if you need me. I love you.”

4. If they’re not ready, be patient.

   Sometimes it takes some kids more time than others to open up about their feelings. This could be because they are unsure of what they’re feeling, or unsure of how to talk about what they feel. Try being extra patient about it in order to encourage a healthy mindset when it comes to mental health. You may be anxious to help, but being pushy may make them clam up. You could try having a conversation using different “feelings words,” describe how they feel or provide examples of when they may come up, and then just let them know that you’re here when they are ready.

5. Continue to check in so that you’re there when they are ready.

   It’s normal to be worried if you tried to chat with them and they were not ready to discuss. Without being pushy, persistence is important as well. Checking in a few times to remind them that you notice, you care, and you’re here can really help move communication along. If it’s taking them a long time to get back to you, you might try gently saying something like, “Let’s make a plan to check in with each other when you have time.”

6. Make a habit of communicating and expressing feelings in your household.

   You have identified that your child may struggle more with their feelings than other kids and teens might. It’s normal for them to have big feelings! They are certainly not alone. After you have opened up the door for emotional expression and processing, make it a habit to talk about their feelings more so they know they can go to you if something is troubling them.

If you think that your child may need extra support when it comes to their mental health, Amel Counseling & Consulting has child and teen therapists who are ready and able to help. Call today to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation call.

Making Goodbyes Easier With Anxious Kids

It’s normal for younger children to have a difficult time separating from their parents, especially now since we’ve spent years staying home more than ever before.

If your child seems clingier than before, you’re certainly not alone. However, there are some ways to help kids cope with their anxiety when it comes to saying goodbye.

1. Give them a little bit of notice.

   • For kids who tend to be more anxious, a chance to ask you some questions and some time to process your leaving will go a long way.

   • Providing some advanced notice allows them the time to settle into their feelings and begin to calm down.

2. Give them some detail.

   • Before the separation, allow them to ask their questions about it and answer them.

   • Let them know where you are going, what they will be doing while you are gone, and when you (or they) will be back.

   • This gives them the message that they can trust you and will likely reduce their feelings of anxiety as well.

3. Make a routine.

   • Kids who tend to be more anxious feel much better about things that are hard for them if they have routines and rituals, that way they can know what to expect at least a little bit.

   • If you know that you will be separating, maybe you create a ritual where you read a book or spend a little time doing something that relaxes them before you go.

4. Build up to it.

   • Try to start with shorter goodbyes, and then build up to longer ones.

   • If your child struggles with separation, I would not jump right into being gone all night.

   • Perhaps having a babysitter or grandparent stay with the child while you take a small trip to the market would be a good way to start, and then slowly work toward a longer one such as a date night.

5. Seek help if it does not seem to be getting better.

   • Kids who have anxiety about separating from their parents to the point where it is hindering their everyday life may need some extra help and support outside of what you can do alone.

   • Having serious trouble with goodbyes and clinging onto parents can be a sign of separation anxiety disorder, and it could be important to seek help from a child therapist.

If your child has intense feelings that seem to be too big for your family to manage yourselves, a mental health professional may be able to provide support and make this process easier for you and for them. 

One of the major ways mental health professionals see separation anxiety interfere with kids’ daily lives would be in school. It could also be important to involve their teachers and have some meetings with them to see their input as well. 

If you feel you need to reach out for support from a child therapist, Amel Counseling & Consulting is here to help in whatever way we can.

What Parents Can Do When Their Kids Clash With Teachers

As we know all too well by now, not everyone gets along with everyone they meet in life. People have different personalities, communication styles, and perceive the world differently. Kids are not immune to this, and will sometimes clash with some people more than others. 

But, what if they clash with their teacher? It’s certainly possible for this to occur; they are being told what to do all day by someone who they may or may not fully understand or get along with, they experience a lack of control and autonomy, and… frankly, kids get tired and cranky.

So, your kid is raising concerns about how their teacher doesn’t like them, they don’t like their teacher, or both. What can you do about it? How can you use this situation as a teaching moment to help them build problem-solving skills to manage their feelings toward this situation?

1. Don’t minimize or brush it off.

   Instead, take it seriously and use intentional listening. Even if it sounds like your kid may be exaggerating, don’t make them feel like they’re being dramatic. Your child will appreciate feeling heard and understood, especially if the teacher they are clashing with makes them feel the opposite. 

2. Ask questions.

   Talk about how it made them feel. Try asking open-ended questions in order to get to the bottom of what they perceive is going on. This may help you pinpoint the problem and be helpful toward finding a solution for it. Kids sometimes struggle with questions about why something happened (and the dreaded, endless “I don’t know” stream begins), but you may get farther if you have them tell you the story from the beginning.

3. Create a plan with them.

   Try to guide them to think of some ways that they can try to make the situation better. It’s possible that your kid is being misunderstood by the teacher, and is having a hard time communicating why or how. Coming up with the (polite) proper language and responses may be helpful for them. An example of this could be explaining their behavior that may be getting them in trouble, such as doodling in class. You could tell them to express to the teacher that it actually helps them concentrate, but they understand why their teacher may think otherwise.

4. Open up a line of communication with the teacher as well.

   Kids do love to conveniently leave things out sometimes, and it could be beneficial to hear the teacher’s side. This is especially important if your kid is displaying some sort of behavioral issues in school, as this could be a sign of some sort of mental health struggle they could be dealing with. It could also be important to discuss with the teacher the ways in which you are willing to help with the ongoing issues, and to try to come up with solutions together to benefit your child. Make sure they know you are all on the same team, and you are happy to try some things at home if it could help matters, while also gently communicating how your child is perceiving the situation as well.

If you find that your child is exhibiting some behavioral issues at school, as mentioned before, this may be a sign of something deeper. 

An underlying mental health struggle may be the root cause of something like this, especially if they are acting out in ways they never have before. Irritability and frustration are one of the many signs of anxiety and depression in children. 

Behavioral problems are also common in children who are experiencing shame due to struggling with a learning disability or ADHD. 

It could be beneficial to your child and family to look into this further, if it is more than just clashing with a teacher. As always, if you do feel like your child is struggling with their mental health, Amel Counseling & Consulting has a team of therapists who are prepared to find ways to support you and your child. Reach out for a free, 15 minute phone consultation today!

Managing Your Child’s School Burnout

Here we are. Spring has started, the holidays are mostly over, and it’s warming up outside.

Our kids and teens have been in school for about 7 months, and we’ve got the end in sight. Hooray! However…. We do still have almost 2 months left. So while it’s exciting to reach this part of the year, and see the light at the end of the tunnel, now is the time when kids start to really experience burnout. 

You find yourself reminding your kids to “finish strong” or not to give up just yet, because they’ve come so far! 

But you also see your kid getting really tired, and ready for the year to be over. Your kid is experiencing burnout and you’re not sure how to help.

Here are some signs of burnout in kids and teens:

1. Fatigue

   • Difficulty falling asleep at night

   • Falling asleep in class

   • Generally seeming tired throughout the day

2. Loss of appetite

   • Loss of interest in foods they used to like

   • Pushing around their dinner rather than eating it

   • Their lunch comes home untouched

3. Irritability

   • Tantrums or meltdowns that are unexplained

   • Unwarranted anger

   • Having more of an attitude

4. Trying to leave or stay home from school 

   • Frequent flier at the nurse

   • Complaints of stomach aches, headaches, etc

   • Attempting school avoidance

5. Depression

   • Socially withdrawn

   • Lack of interest in things they usually enjoy, dragging

   • Kind of have an “Eeyore-like” attitude towards everything (the Winnie the Pooh character)

6. Combative behaviors

   • Tantrums

   • Refusing to do chores

   • Refusing to do work in school

7. Avoiding homework

   • Outright refusing to do it, and conversations about it become “charged”

   • Writing down random answers without effort

   • Pretending they don’t have homework

If your child is exhibiting some or all of these behaviors, they could be dealing with school burnout, or stress related to being in school for so long when nearing the end of the year. 

It also should go without saying that the past couple of years have been more difficult school years for kids, since there has not been as much consistency in school due to Covid restrictions and unprecedented disruptions in their routines.

So, if your child is experiencing school-related burnout, what can you do?

1. Model open communication.

   • Telling your child that you see their struggle and completely understand it will go a long way.

   • Tell them that you see the effort they have put in and that you know this year has been difficult.

2. Check their diet.

   • Are they eating healthy?

   • All things in moderation, don’t restrict them, but make sure they aren’t overloading their sugar intake. This can make burnout feel heavier.

3. Be mindful of their schedule.

   • Are they overloaded with activities?

   • Are their weeks and weekends overscheduled?

   • Sometimes we put our kids in extracurriculars with all the best intentions, but it may be too much.

4. Limit your expectations.

   • It’s like when you have had a long, long day. How does that last hour or two feel? Like a huge drag.

   • This is how they may be feeling but for weeks straight.

   • Try to be patient with them and problem solve some ways to make it better.

5. Encourage them to ask for help.

   • Maybe the stress, anxiety, depression etc. is too much for them to handle.

   • It could be a good time to talk to their teachers about it, and even reach out for further support with a child or teen therapist who can help them manage their emotions.

As always, if you do determine that it would be the best next step for you to reach out to a child or teen counselor to help your child identify, manage, and regulate some of their bigger feelings, call today to schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation with Amel Counseling & Consulting.