Back to School Anxiety

Going back to school can be a bit of a trigger for some kids and teens.

Some kids are more perceptive and attune to their emotions, while others can be weighed down by their own expectations and perfectionism. Because of this, when fall semester peaks around the corner, your kid can start to have some big worries and might start acting differently.

Talking to your kid and making them feel supported can really help with their back to school anxiety.

If your kid or teen has been overly irritable or moody, showing signs of stress, having difficulties with sleep, or trying to avoid school related subjects/ situations, it’s possible that they are feeling nervous about returning to school or starting a new grade. 

Here are some tips for working through back to school anxiety:

1. It’s okay if they don’t want to talk about it at first, or at all!

   • If you can sense that your kid or teen is feeling anxious about going back to school, but they want to avoid the subject altogether, this is actually a common coping mechanism.

   • The most important thing is not forcing them to talk about it but letting them know that you understand and are here for them.

   • It might help to give them some space and time before they can open up about it.

   • Let them know that you are here for them now and any time they feel stressed about school.

2. Hear your kid or teen out if they do want to talk.

   • If your kid or teen does want to talk about it, hear them out (without automatically telling them it’s fine).

   • Acknowledge the worries that have and validate them. 

   • They could be worried about harder classes, socializing, getting older, moving to a new school, or balancing their workload; all of these are valid concerns and it’s important for them to know that.

   • After validation, let them know that you would like to try and make a plan so that they can feel better.

3. Brainstorm together.

   • Try to come up with some solutions together for the reasons that they are feeling anxiety about going back to school.

   • You could try to come up with a system or a routine together to help them balance their workload.

   • You could buy a white board for them so that they can stay on top of their weekly schedule.

   • You could work together to make sure they are not feeling overwhelmed or over scheduled.

   • You could even practice socializing with them, such as having them introduce themselves to you or practice starting conversations and making friends; nothing is too silly and anything can be helpful if your child feels it is.

4. Talk about some of the stuff they may be looking forward to.

   • AFTER validating your child’s concerns and trying to problem solve however you can, it might help to have them talk about some things they are looking forward to.

   • This does not mean telling them that school is going to be “great,” “fine,” or “fun once they are there,” as these general statements usually don’t help kids (or anyone) that’s stressed out.

   • Try asking about specific things they enjoy, like seeing their friends, sports/gym, art, and a subject they may like or excel at.