Making Goodbyes Easier With Anxious Kids
It’s normal for younger children to have a difficult time separating from their parents, especially now since we’ve spent years staying home more than ever before.
If your child seems clingier than before, you’re certainly not alone. However, there are some ways to help kids cope with their anxiety when it comes to saying goodbye.
Give them a little bit of notice.
For kids who tend to be more anxious, a chance to ask you some questions and some time to process your leaving will go a long way.
Providing some advanced notice allows them the time to settle into their feelings and begin to calm down.
Give them some detail.
Before the separation, allow them to ask their questions about it and answer them.
Let them know where you are going, what they will be doing while you are gone, and when you (or they) will be back.
This gives them the message that they can trust you and will likely reduce their feelings of anxiety as well.
Make a routine.
Kids who tend to be more anxious feel much better about things that are hard for them if they have routines and rituals, that way they can know what to expect at least a little bit.
If you know that you will be separating, maybe you create a ritual where you read a book or spend a little time doing something that relaxes them before you go.
Build up to it.
Try to start with shorter goodbyes, and then build up to longer ones.
If your child struggles with separation, I would not jump right into being gone all night.
Perhaps having a babysitter or grandparent stay with the child while you take a small trip to the market would be a good way to start, and then slowly work toward a longer one such as a date night.
Seek help if it does not seem to be getting better.
Kids who have anxiety about separating from their parents to the point where it is hindering their everyday life may need some extra help and support outside of what you can do alone.
Having serious trouble with goodbyes and clinging onto parents can be a sign of separation anxiety disorder, and it could be important to seek help from a child therapist.
If your child has intense feelings that seem to be too big for your family to manage yourselves, a mental health professional may be able to provide support and make this process easier for you and for them.
One of the major ways mental health professionals see separation anxiety interfere with kids’ daily lives would be in school. It could also be important to involve their teachers and have some meetings with them to see their input as well.
If you feel you need to reach out for support from a child therapist, Amel Counseling & Consulting is here to help in whatever way we can.
