Talking to Your Kids About Their Mental Health
Pretty much all parents have thought from time to time that they would prefer to shield their children from all of the upsetting, concerning, unpleasant feelings they may encounter throughout their lives. Some kids and teens sometimes have big feelings and worries! And some feel their feelings very deeply, and may struggle at times.
Unfortunately, it’s impossible to shelter kids and teens from some of the more complex situations and emotions that life may bring.
However, what parents can do is figure out the best way to communicate with their kids about their mental health, and make sure that their kids know that they are there for them, especially if they seem to be going through something.
It may take kids and teens some time to open up about whatever it is that could be bothering them, and they may be wary about how to express what it is they are thinking or feeling.
Here are some comprehensive tips to get the conversation started.
Let them know if you notice that they seem off.
You could start by saying something simple such as, “I notice you seem really down lately.” This could spark a conversation about what is going on with them internally, so that they know they don’t need to hide it.
Validate their feelings.
The different ways that kids and teens think are sometimes surprising to parents. They may think that they are supposed to suppress their unpleasant feelings, so it could be important to let them know that you would rather them talk about it with you when they are ready. You could simply say, “It seems like you have had a hard week. It’s okay to be down sometimes.”
Let them know that you are here for them.
Telling them that you care, are there to listen, and would love to come up with a solution can go a long way. Your child may need to know that they won’t get in trouble if they are not okay. You could say something like, “I’m here for you if you need me. I love you.”
If they’re not ready, be patient.
Sometimes it takes some kids more time than others to open up about their feelings. This could be because they are unsure of what they’re feeling, or unsure of how to talk about what they feel. Try being extra patient about it in order to encourage a healthy mindset when it comes to mental health. You may be anxious to help, but being pushy may make them clam up. You could try having a conversation using different “feelings words,” describe how they feel or provide examples of when they may come up, and then just let them know that you’re here when they are ready.
Continue to check in so that you’re there when they are ready.
It’s normal to be worried if you tried to chat with them and they were not ready to discuss. Without being pushy, persistence is important as well. Checking in a few times to remind them that you notice, you care, and you’re here can really help move communication along. If it’s taking them a long time to get back to you, you might try gently saying something like, “Let’s make a plan to check in with each other when you have time.”
Make a habit of communicating and expressing feelings in your household.
You have identified that your child may struggle more with their feelings than other kids and teens might. It’s normal for them to have big feelings! They are certainly not alone. After you have opened up the door for emotional expression and processing, make it a habit to talk about their feelings more so they know they can go to you if something is troubling them.
If you think that your child may need extra support when it comes to their mental health, Amel Counseling & Consulting has child and teen therapists who are ready and able to help. Call today to schedule a free, 15-minute consultation call.
