De-escalation Strategies for Meltdowns
We have parents coming to us all the time at their absolute wit’s end saying that their child has meltdowns. They usually say things like,
“it comes out of nowhere, nothing helps, and my kid can never tell me why it happened later.”
For some children this can be an indicator of something bigger going on, like anxiety, depression, over-stimulation, stress, ADHD, or ASD. But for some kids, the reason they have meltdowns or outbursts is really hard to pin down, and it may take longer to get to the “why.”
So, if this is you, you may be wondering what you can do about it now!
This can be really frustrating, concerning, and stressful for parents!
The good news is, you are not alone. Many kids go through phases where they have explosive outbursts that seem to be untriggered, and end just as quickly as they begin.
Here are some different things that you could try to do to manage your child’s meltdowns and temper tantrums in your house
Don’t yell to be heard.
If your child is screaming, don’t try to scream over them, it only escalates the situation.
Don’t try to reason (right away).
Although it’s tempting, you will honestly get nowhere with a child who is mid-temper tantrum, so discuss it when they are calm.
Avoid the word “no” when they are amidst a meltdown.
Use calming visual input, such as something relaxing on the television.
Use a distraction.
Sometimes we tell parents to do something funny, other times we tell parents to create a joy zone in their home with toys and games so that their kid can go there when they feel like they are getting upset.
Silence.
Now is not the time for a life lesson, trust me! Just stay calm and try not to do too much talking when they are having a meltdown.
Validate their feelings but not their actions.
You don’t need to be okay with your child screaming and throwing things to recognize that it’s okay for them to be stressed out or anxious. It’s a good opportunity to model communication about feelings.
Get down to their level.
It might help if you sit on the floor with them and just be there.
Don’t be too emotional; remain very calm and level.
Easier said than done, but presenting as frustrated will only make your child feel worse.
Remain non-judgmental.
Your child needs to know that you are there for him, even if you don’t condone the way they reacted to their big feelings.
Be aware of your body language.
You may be inclined to bring them into a safer room with less breakable items or sharp edges (which is fine) but remember to be mindful of coming off threatening.
Respect their space.
Once again, it’s okay to gently guide them into a safer room if the room they are in is not super-ideal, but be respectful of their personal space.
Practice deep breathing and other coping skills.
Taking deep breaths can instantly make your kid feel better. Some other examples of coping skills are drinking water, closing their eyes, taking a walk, and hugging a stuffed animal. We also love stress balls!
Avoid making demands when they’re in the middle of a temper tantrum.
Reflective listening.
Listening intently and reflecting on what your child has to say, without thinking about what you are going to say next or being distracted, is so important. Children can really reveal some surprising, insightful, and helpful information if you truly take the time to listen to them.
If your child has been struggling with meltdowns, outbursts, and temper tantrums, and you are starting to feel the stress weighing on you, you are definitely not alone.
While all of these tips can be super helpful, temper tantrums in childhood can also be a sign of a deeper underlying issue, such as learning disabilities, anxiety, depression, a disrupted sleeping schedule, autism, ADHD, and more.
It may be a good idea to seek help from a mental health professional for the proper assessment, support, advice, and treatment plan.
Reach out to Amel Counseling & Consulting today and schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation with one of our child therapists!
