What Parents Can Do When Their Kids Clash With Teachers
As we know all too well by now, not everyone gets along with everyone they meet in life. People have different personalities, communication styles, and perceive the world differently. Kids are not immune to this, and will sometimes clash with some people more than others.
But, what if they clash with their teacher? It’s certainly possible for this to occur; they are being told what to do all day by someone who they may or may not fully understand or get along with, they experience a lack of control and autonomy, and… frankly, kids get tired and cranky.
So, your kid is raising concerns about how their teacher doesn’t like them, they don’t like their teacher, or both. What can you do about it? How can you use this situation as a teaching moment to help them build problem-solving skills to manage their feelings toward this situation?
Don’t minimize or brush it off.
Instead, take it seriously and use intentional listening. Even if it sounds like your kid may be exaggerating, don’t make them feel like they’re being dramatic. Your child will appreciate feeling heard and understood, especially if the teacher they are clashing with makes them feel the opposite.
Ask questions.
Talk about how it made them feel. Try asking open-ended questions in order to get to the bottom of what they perceive is going on. This may help you pinpoint the problem and be helpful toward finding a solution for it. Kids sometimes struggle with questions about why something happened (and the dreaded, endless “I don’t know” stream begins), but you may get farther if you have them tell you the story from the beginning.
Create a plan with them.
Try to guide them to think of some ways that they can try to make the situation better. It’s possible that your kid is being misunderstood by the teacher, and is having a hard time communicating why or how. Coming up with the (polite) proper language and responses may be helpful for them. An example of this could be explaining their behavior that may be getting them in trouble, such as doodling in class. You could tell them to express to the teacher that it actually helps them concentrate, but they understand why their teacher may think otherwise.
Open up a line of communication with the teacher as well.
Kids do love to conveniently leave things out sometimes, and it could be beneficial to hear the teacher’s side. This is especially important if your kid is displaying some sort of behavioral issues in school, as this could be a sign of some sort of mental health struggle they could be dealing with. It could also be important to discuss with the teacher the ways in which you are willing to help with the ongoing issues, and to try to come up with solutions together to benefit your child. Make sure they know you are all on the same team, and you are happy to try some things at home if it could help matters, while also gently communicating how your child is perceiving the situation as well.
If you find that your child is exhibiting some behavioral issues at school, as mentioned before, this may be a sign of something deeper.
An underlying mental health struggle may be the root cause of something like this, especially if they are acting out in ways they never have before. Irritability and frustration are one of the many signs of anxiety and depression in children.
Behavioral problems are also common in children who are experiencing shame due to struggling with a learning disability or ADHD.
It could be beneficial to your child and family to look into this further, if it is more than just clashing with a teacher. As always, if you do feel like your child is struggling with their mental health, Amel Counseling & Consulting has a team of therapists who are prepared to find ways to support you and your child. Reach out for a free, 15 minute phone consultation today!
