It’s important for parents to show their children how to utilize healthy coping skills when they are faced with big emotions.
Parents do not need to hide their undesirable or unpleasant feelings, especially anxiety, anger, or sadness. You want to teach your kids that these feelings are normal and what to do to feel better.
Coping skills are ways to work through unpleasant feelings.
Coping skills are strategies that help handle intense emotions.
Different people use different strategies, but some examples could be positive self-talk, journaling, movement/exercising, grounding/mindfulness techniques, and listening to music.
When kids see you using healthy coping skills, they copy you.
It’s helpful to utilize your coping skills in front of your kids rather than repressing your anger, sadness, or anxiety.
This may be uncomfortable at times but it is a really important lesson for kids.
Take it a step further and communicate with them what you are doing as you are doing it.
You could say something like: “I’m getting overwhelmed, so I am going to take some deep breaths and take a break.” This communication is also good because they won’t take it personally if you need space.
Modeling coping skills helps normalize big feelings.
Your child seeing you self-soothe and treat yourself with kindness teaches them that undesirable feelings are normal, they happen to everyone, and they are manageable.
This will, in turn, give your kids the tools needed to handle their own challenging feelings when they experience the same ones.
Parents do not need to be perfect. Parents do not need to pretend that they only experience positive emotions and never are faced with challenging ones.
Instead, communicate with your kids when you are feeling sad, mad, and nervous. Let them know that they are not alone when they feel that way. Model healthy coping mechanisms and outlets for them. Talk them through your process.
And, as always, if you feel as though you could use more support in this area, and that your kids struggle with big emotions and have a hard time using coping skills, reach out to Amel Counseling for a child or teen therapist today. Schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation and see what this support could look like for your child and your family.