How to promote healthy body image for your child
By Juliana Lewellen
Although you may try, you simply cannot shield your child from each and every mental health struggle that they can possibly encounter in their lives. One of these struggles your child may have is low self-esteem and unhealthy body image.
The idea of an ideal body is something that may appear inescapable; diet culture is everywhere we turn, the media is always promoting unattainable looks, and your child’s peers may pressure them to look a certain way as well.
However, research shows that one of the biggest influences on a child’s body image is their parent’s outlook on body image.
The way that you, as a parent, talk about both the way you look and the way others look does truly make a difference.
So, the question stands: what is the best way to promote healthy body image? What are the do’s and dont’s?
DONT:
Promote foods because it “helps keep us thin”
Instead DO:
Promote healthy eating. Many people conflate health/fitness with the size/shape of a body. This is a learned idea. Many people who are thin maintain pretty unhealthy eating habits, while many bigger bodied people actually eat very nutritiously. Many people who people call “too skinny” actually do give their body everything that it needs. These two are not one-in-the-same. Teaching your child about how healthy a balanced diet is does not actually need to be about how they look--AT ALL!
DONT:
Talk about working out to lose weight
Instead DO:
Talk about movement/exercise in a way that has nothing to do with being thin. This one may feel a little foreign to the parents who grew up in the 80’s, 90’s, or 2000’s, but exercising and being thin do not need to be a hand-in-hand type of deal. Teach your children that they should move their bodies because it is good for the mind. Teach your children to exercise because it makes them strong. Teach your kids that they do not need to push themselves past the point of enjoyment, and that they should not feel like they have to do it.
DONT:
Call yourself fat or say you need to lose weight
Comment on other people’s bodies or appearances negatively
Comment on your child’s body shape/size
Instead DO:
Focus on aspects of people that have nothing to do with their outer appearance. This goes for your child too. Bear with me on this, because sometimes it sounds strange. Of course you can tell your daughter that she is beautiful! However, it would also be really meaningful to your daughter to also tell her what exactly about her makes her beautiful. Talk about her soul; how intelligent she is, her independence, how kindhearted she is. This piece also goes for others as well. Discussing with your child people “inner beauty” and things you love about them that have nothing to do with their face or body will give your child an appreciation for those things about themselves and in others.
DONT:
Maintain a strict diet of 3 meals a day, all healthy, all small proportions
Refuse to buy junk food
Instead DO:
Allow your child to have food autonomy. I can already hear your next thought: “My kid is going to eat cereal and ice cream 24/7 if I let them do this.” I’m definitely not saying that you should leave the grocery store with a cart full of junk for them. What I’m saying is, teach them about the importance of vitamins and nutrients, fruits and vegetables, and make it fun for them. Then, allow them to choose which fruits, veggies, healthy snacks, and junk foods they want to get. Give them a few dinner ideas for the week and let them choose which ones they want tonight. Choices are good, and so is balance.
If your child begins making comments about their body, make it an opportune time to open up a conversation about this. Ask questions. Listen. They are obviously getting this idea from somewhere. Check yourself against these do’s and dont’s.
You don’t have to be 100% perfect 100% of the time. Every parent has their own struggles and are not immune to their own body image and self-esteem struggles. However, if you struggle with your relationship with your body or with food, this may be something you do not wish to pass on to your child. It may be a good idea to seek therapy in order to refrain from continuing a cycle in your family.
Don’t be afraid to reach out for more help than this post has to offer if you need it. We got this.