Mental Health Days: Escapes or Breaks?
Just like adults need days to rest and recharge, sometimes our kids and teens express the need to take a break. They are savvily calling it a “mental health day”.
As a parent, you may be wondering if this is appropriate or if it’s a bad idea to let your child take the day off for mental health reasons. What if they are just trying to escape work or a test? Then again, who wants to tell their kid “no” to self-care? So when should you give the school a call or push you dear one out the door with extra love and encouragement?
The answer is… it depends!
Rather than determining if mental health days are good or bad overall, let’s discuss when and why they can be beneficial, versus when and why they do more harm than good.
When + Why it may be a bad idea to let your child take a day off for mental health:
If your child or teen is trying to avoid school because of anxiety. Putting off dealing with this may make it worse, and also may reinforce the idea that avoidance is a proactive and effective response to a bad feeling.
If your child or teen is using this as an excuse to avoid schoolwork. Sometimes it is a good idea to determine the difference between your kid feeling overwhelmed, or just getting a little lazy. It happens to us all! But taking days off because they wanna bum around isn’t the best example for them.
If there is a bigger issue going on. Let’s come back to this at the end -- but if there is a mental health or learning problem at the root of your child often asking to stay home, agreeing to let them take days off is not as good of an idea as getting them the proper help.
If there is something going on with their peers. As we know, kids and teens can deal with a fair amount of drama in their friend groups. However, if they’re trying to stay home just so that they don’t have to confront an issue with their friends, and you give in, this doesn’t exactly teach them problem-solving skills.
When + Why it may be appropriate to let your kid or teen take a mental health day:
If they have been under a lot of stress lately in their personal life, letting them take the occasional day to practice self-care can be really beneficial to them. Sometimes kids and teens have to deal with big things happening, and parents need to make a judgment call about what’s more important and what they may need to get through it.
If they are struggling with their mental health, and you are already in touch with the proper resources to help them, allowing them a day here and there to recharge when they are overwhelmed can be very helpful.
If they are not asking to stay home (from school, work, social events, sports) often, and just occasionally, then you can determine that they are making judgments based on their own self-awareness.
If they tend to utilize these mental health days in a way that truly feels like it was worth it. Meaning, if your teen isn’t sitting around with bags of chips spilled everywhere, yelling at their video game, and doing things that are generally bad for their mental health.
It’s important to check in with your kid/teen’s mental health and see if there is a bigger problem at the root of them asking to take a day off. If your child is avoiding school because they are falling behind with their learning, or because they are struggling emotionally (such as feeling depressed or unmotivated), it would be really important to reach out for additional support for them. Allowing them to take a day off to recharge can be helpful, but it won’t truly help them fix whatever it is that they are struggling with that makes it hard for them to tend to their responsibilities.
If you find this to be the case for your kid or teen, reach out to one of our therapists here at Amel today.