Talking About Bullying With Your Child
Being bullied can be a really traumatic experience for a child. It can do major damage to their self esteem.
You may want to rush in like Mama Bear or The Hulk. Maybe you are paralyzed with fear. Fear of doing or saying the wrong thing. It’s OK. It is important to keep in mind some of the reasons why kids bully each other, such as to establish power, become more popular, insecurities, issues/ instability at home, and aggression issues. Although it does not excuse the behavior, it’s helpful to understand it in order to hopefully change it.
Getting bullied can diminish your child’s self-confidence. Constant bullying causes immense psychological stress and some children can experience anxiety, and/or symptoms of depression. It can have long-term effects on kids, and really skew their sense of self. It can break down their motivation to attend school resulting in grades dropping, socialization lessening, and self-isolating.
Unfortunately, you can’t single-handedly prevent your child from being bullied or eradicate it altogether. Talking about bullying– such as explaining to your child how to handle it, encouraging communication about it, informing them on what they can expect if it does happen, and what you want them to do if they have a friend being bullied– is one of the best ways to make a difference.
5 good ways to talk about bullying with your kids
Warn your child
Talk about what bullying is and what it’s not
Explain the difference between conflict, a mean moment, and bullying
Stress that you want your child to tell you
Explain cyber bullying
Teach them to not engage
Fortify your child
Educate your child about the reasons why a bully might bully others
Answer any questions they may have
Explain that bullying says more about the bully than the victim
Teach them to resist the “herd effect” and do not follow along with bullies
Encourage your child to stand up for friends/ they will do the same
Roleplay appropriate responses
Practice dialogue with your child about how to respond to bulliesDiscuss solutions
It helps to come up with some ways to respond in advance so your child feels ready
You want to make sure they don’t add fuel to the fire
When a child is embarrassed or humiliated, they may freeze up or react in a way that makes them feel worse, so roleplaying helps
Communicate with the school
Most schools do have bullying education
Make sure schools are encouraging respect, support, and empathy among peers
Always talk to the school if there are issues with your child and a bully or one of their peers and a bully
Communicating about what is happening and what your expectations ensure the situation will be handled in a way you see fit
In extreme cases, law enforcement may need to be contacted as well as the school
The top priority is the welfare of your child
Encourage allying
Encourage your child to make deals with friends where they have each other’s backs
Friends standing up for friends, at the moment, where the bullying is actually taking place can make a huge difference
Always teach kids not to go along with bullies, especially if their friends are being targeted
Teach your child to stand up for what’s right and be loyal to their morals
Although bullying can be a very upsetting situation for your child and you as parents, it is important to handle it in the best way possible and as level-headed as you can.
As always, if you need more support from a child or teen therapist, reach out to Amel Counseling for a free, 15-minute phone consultation. We have therapists who are ready and willing to support your family and your child through tough situations with peers and bullying in schools, or any mental health issues that have come up as a result of this.
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