A Philadelphia, PA Therapist Shares 5 Self-esteem Building Activities for Kids
Over the past few years, therapists have seen an increase of children coming to therapy struggling with self-confidence. Whether this is a result of social media use, covid, or a combination of both, it is certainly a prevalent issue with children.
Self-esteem building is important because it can help your child feel better about themselves, which is necessary when they are struggling with other challenges that may come their way. It’s also important for a child to have confidence because it can encourage them to ask for help when they may need it, instead of giving up. They may also be able to form healthier relationships if they have a strong sense of self-worth and personal value.
Kids who struggle with self-esteem tend to feel more anxious, frustrated, and irritable when they make mistakes or struggle with something, rather than viewing mistakes as a lesson to learn from.
So, with all of this in mind, you may be wondering… how do I help my kid build their self-esteem up and instill these values? Or, how do I help my kid who is already struggling with low self-esteem and looks down on themselves?
Here are some tips that you could practice everyday in order to instill high personal worth or raise their self-esteem if it’s low.
Recognize effort. Praise the fact that they tried, regardless of if they succeeded. If your child genuinely tried hard at something but did not achieve it, it is really important to explain to them that you are proud of the effort you saw. Kids with low self-esteem may jump right to “I’m dumb,” or “I suck at this” when they fail. Be sure to show them that you do not feel that way, and the effort is worth more than the outcome.
Give unconditional love. Your kid may need to know that, even when they do disappoint you or do something wrong, you still love them. Kids with a poor self-image may feel that they are bad when, in reality, they made a bad decision. It is beneficial for you as their parent to help them distinguish between the two ideas.
Avoid comparison with other children. Kids can be really sensitive when they hear their parents compare them to others. Children who struggle with confidence are likely comparing themselves to others already. If they hear or see you comparing them to another child who is maybe better at something than them (or maybe just more of a natural), it can reinforce this idea that they already have in their head. You want to try to reverse the habit of them comparing themselves. Comparison is the thief of joy, as they say.
Encourage independence and autonomy. You can do this by just asking your kid’s input on decisions. It’s not as deep as it sounds–it could be as simple as “Do you want me to make us chicken or steak for dinner?'' This helps your child see that his opinion counts.
Aside from parenting from a different perspective, here are 5 activities you could try in addition in order to encourage your child to have a positive attitude toward themselves.
Self-esteem journal- Journaling is a good way to get kids to consider their own thoughts and feelings. Positive psychology journals can help guide kids to focus on the good in their lives. A self-esteem journal would have prompts such as: “I was proud of myself today when…” “the highlight of my day was…” and “I am unique because…” along with focusing on goals and successes.
Encourage artistic expression and creativity- Kids love to be creative. However, sometimes kids with low self-esteem who aren’t especially talented in art class may tend to compare themselves to other kids in school, or feel down on themselves if they aren’t as good at a particular medium. Encouraging artistic expression in any form in the home, where they feel safe, and free of judgment (like getting graded) is a great way to promote high self-esteem. Artistic expression can look like anything: painting, decorating, dancing, singing, creating art with nature, doing hair/makeup, knitting, and all of the different hobbies they could truly enjoy if they were to explore them.
Positive affirmations- The way you talk to yourself matters. When we think back to the “I’m so dumb” statement from earlier in the post, it’s obvious that a remark like that would not be helpful if they believe it. However, it’s also not fair to expect your kid to say “I’m so smart!” when they don’t do well on a test. Try to help them reframe the thought and change the statement instead. It could be something like “I didn’t do great on this test, but I’ll try to do better because I am hardworking.” Then, we focus on positive affirmations. You could even make it a challenge for everyone in the family to come up with their own positive affirmations, write them down, decorate the page, and share with the rest of the family. It’s a good way to turn around a bad day, or a day where your kid is putting out a lot of negative self-talk.
Daily chores or small (attainable) tasks- Placing trust in your kid to handle their chores is a great way to help them feel better about themselves. Depending on their age, it would need to be something they can access. If you create a laminated chore chart with their tasks and let them check it off daily, or put stickers on it when they’re completed, it can help them feel a sense of purpose and feel accomplished.
Exercise / practice yoga- Exercise is important for kids to feel good about themselves. It releases chemicals into the brain that make people feel accomplished and healthy. Also, one of the best ways to move your body is yoga. Yoga is not just for adults but for kids as well. And many kids love to practice it, especially with their parents. Mindfulness and yoga are a great way to promote good self-esteem and can also improve other things such as memory and confidence/body appreciation.
If your child is struggling with low self-esteem and you feel it may be affecting his or her day-to-day life, it may be a good time to bring them to a therapist and see if they need extra support. Schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation today with Amel Counseling.
