Is This Really Grief?

By Juliana Lewellen

Grief is often tied in conversation to the notion of death. However, grief is not limited to death.

Grief is the deep sorrow in response to any form of loss that impacts one’s life.

A loss that impacts one’s life could be in any form.

Here are a few examples of loss we May Not Realize Cause grief.

• Losing a friend. 

• Leaving a career path you really loved. 

• Losing a part of yourself that you once loved.

• Changing future plans.

• Losing trust in someone you love. 

• Infertility.

• Failed fostering and adoptions.

• Ending romantic relationships. 

• No longer feeling safe and secure in your place of living.
  

People who experience any of these “non-traditional” losses are left with feelings they can’t pin down, and may not understand what they are experiencing. All of these losses bring forth feelings of grief. It may not or may not feel the same as losing someone to death. It’s unfair to place more or less value on the loss based on the pain it inflicts on the sufferer.

They are grieving because these losses are important too.

Grief is an extremely private and personal experience for whomever it affects. There is no way to truly “fix it” but there are many ways to process it that can hopefully be helpful. Understanding your grief is a good way to process it.

• Grief can cause physical and emotional symptoms. It can be incredibly exhausting and extremely heavy. It can be all-consuming, frustrating, and really change you. The good news is, with the right help, grief can be made to feel lighter.

• There is no real timeline for when someone should begin grieving or be done grieving. Maybe you have not been sad about your loss for years, and you thought that you were over it, but then recently you find that it has snuck back up on you.

• That’s other thing about grief, it can be very unpredictable. Maybe yours comes in waves and without warning. Maybe hers comes nonstop and slowly dissipates. Maybe his has not hit him at all yet. We are all different.

• There are no rules. You can be happy, annoyed, established, excited, determined, etc. and still also be grieving at the same time. Grief can coexist with many different emotions. This is sometimes confusing for people because they think the only acceptable feeling to pair with grief is sadness; they can’t seem to understand why someone who is grieving can also be happy. This is not true at all. With the right help, you may learn that grief can be carried with joy.

If you find that yourself, your child, or your family as a whole may be experiencing grief after ANY kind of loss, you may need some help processing it. Schedule with one of our therapists today.