How to Manage Social Anxiety During Holiday Gatherings
People who deal with social anxiety will always be the first to admit that it gets tough over the holidays.
There’s a lot of people together, sometimes family that you don’t see very often, and it gets crowded and loud.
Sometimes there’s family members who ask a lot of questions and tend to pry. People who have social anxiety typically have a difficult time socializing in general, much less in a hectic environment in an interview-type manner. Anxieties can certainly get heightened.
On top of an already difficult situation, Covid has definitely added a layer of anxiety surrounding social gatherings as well, even for people who did not previously struggle with social anxiety.
Let’s not forget that our children and adolescents experience social anxiety too, and can have a difficult time managing it at holiday parties as well. This can make it a struggle for the whole family and feel like a real obstacle as the holidays roll around!
You want this to be a lovely, relaxing, heart-warming time, but you can’t help but worry about how it’s going to go with your kids who have so many different factors affecting their social anxiety.
Here are some tips to help manage your kid’s social anxiety:
Holiday sweets are the best! But make sure you are also keeping your kids on their normal, nutritious diet. Too much sugar for a prolonged period of time can have an affect on your kid’s mental health, and a poor diet can make them start to feel run down, making it difficult to be social.
Set realistic expectations for your kid or teen. Do not expect them to walk into the party and be a source of entertainment or a comedian. If they want to sit back and enjoy the party on the sidelines rather than directly interact with other kids, let them. If they warm up, they warm up. Let them do it at their own pace.
Try your best to keep your set routines. Kids and teens with social anxiety love routines because it is predictable, and they fear the unknown. The holidays make it difficult, but try to have your day resemble the best form of normalcy as possible. Talk them through the event prior to arriving so that they know what to expect as far as what will be different. Giving them a “preview” may really soothe them since they will then know what to expect.
Their sleep schedule is super important. Lots of families stay up later together during the holidays, whether it be watching Christmas movies or playing games after their Thanksgiving dinner. However, if it’s going to make your child’s social anxiety spin out of control, it’s more important to make sure they are getting their rest. They need rest to recharge.
Track their symptoms. Kids have a lot of somatic (physical) symptoms of anxiety. If they are complaining about tummy aches or headaches when their cousins are running wild and yelling, keep a journal and write it down. It may be helpful for your kid and you to see what triggers they have. It can also be helpful to their therapist or pediatrician to know this.
Carve out quality time to spend with your kid or teen. Your child feels safe at home, around you, and needs those feelings in order to feel strong enough to overcome their future worries regarding holidays. It’s hard to set aside time when families are so busy during the holidays, but it’s certainly important!
Practice things! Practice your child or teen’s coping skills with them. Let them practice different ones and see what they like. Let them practice chit chatting with you if it makes them feel better and more comfortable.
Examples of different coping skills that may work for your child or teen’s social anxiety:
Worry boxes: let them write down their worries and put them away in a box.
Journaling: writing down their thoughts and concerns can help them get them out of their head.
Alone time button: make your kid a button that they can push to let people know they need some space, and they can push it and go to a corner of the room to take a breather.
Breathing exercises
Stress ball/ fidgets
Relaxing music
Coloring, drawing, or painting: art can be really relaxing for kids and teens, and it’s also portable and can come with you to a holiday party.
Portable coping kit: a little bit of everything in a small bin that they can bring so that they know that they have options if they are not feeling well.
For more support regarding your kid or teen who may be struggling with social anxiety, especially around the holidays and especially following Covid, reach out now for a free consultation with one of our therapists at Amel.
